Why do I self sabotage?
Self-sabotage is not self-destruction. It is protection running on outdated information — some part of you has concluded that succeeding at this is more dangerous than failing at it, and is acting accordingly.
How each tradition describes this pattern
Western psychology
Approach-avoidance conflict
Two motivations run at once: wanting the outcome and avoiding what the outcome costs. Visibility, responsibility, a changed relationship to people who knew the earlier version of you. The behaviour looks irrational from outside because only one of the two motives is conscious.
Contemplative traditions
Vasana
A vasana is a latent tendency — a disposition carried beneath awareness that inclines behaviour before deliberation begins. Traditions are careful to distinguish it from a decision. It is not what you choose; it is what is already leaning when the choice arrives.
Where the two meet
What each account misses alone.
Naming the conflict is where Western work usually starts and often stops. The vasana framing adds something operationally useful: the tendency is not primarily verbal, so it is unlikely to be dissolved verbally. Insight tells you the pattern exists. It rarely changes what is already leaning.
Related questions
The Atlas explains the pattern. A Soul Mirror finds yours.
Reading about a pattern and seeing your own are different events. A Soul Mirror maps your specific architecture from your birth details and your own answers, and arrives within 24 hours.